What nobody tells you when your due your second child

1. You will feel guilt

Yes, guilt like you’ve never known before. How can you be changing your toddlers life so much? What if they feel pushed out? What if they are jealous? Will they feel like the new baby replaces them?

I can’t count the amount of times I sat awake at night wondering how Lydia would react to the newest addition. I knew in the long run it would be great for her having a sibling to grow up with, but should we have waited a little longer? Maybe when she was old enough to ask for a brother or sister? The truth is, is there ever a right time? If I waited until she went to school would that be too much change at once? Even a year later, would that make the gap too big and they not bond so well? I grew up with an older brother, he is 20 months older than me and we grew up best friends, we have so many fun memories together and I was never lonely. Yes we argued like cat and dog most the time but that’s just part of having a sibling right and I always knew no matter what he would always be there for me and I would for him.

2. You will forget your pregnant

With my first I was religiously checking every app and website to see what size fruit my baby was and how she would be growing. I could tell you straight up how many weeks and days pregnant I was and took regular photos of my bump. Fast forward almost two year to my second pregnancy and I feared the moment someone asked how many weeks I was and I started trying to work it out without looking like I didn’t have a care in the world (I promise I actually did care). I think I took one, maybe two bump photos through my whole pregnancy, partly because I hadn’t lost all my fat from my first baby, and secondly because i honestly did not have time.

3. Labour is not always easier

Sorry, it’s a myth. My labour was not easier. Truthfully, that probably has a lot to do with the fact I was induced earlier with Charlotte so my body wasn’t fully ready. But no, Lydia’s labour was a breeze in comparison to Charlottes.

4. People don’t care (as much as the parents)

To put it bluntly. When we first had Lydia we had so many people coming round to meet her that it actually got a bit overwhelming, we had actually considered asking people not to visit in the first week while we adjusted to being a family of four this time. Well that wouldn’t have been necessary. It’s not that I mind so much, I know people are busy and particular people have valid reasons why they haven’t visited yet such as illnesses in themselves and family members and of course there are people I’ve simply lost contact with over the past two year for whatever reason, me being so busy with Mam life and others being busy in whatever they are up to. But definitely don’t have the same expectations second time around.

5. After pains

Why did no one tell me about the after pains! I thought there was a twin in there that we had never knew about and hadn’t came out during labour! My days, they hurt! Basically it’s your uterus contracting back to its regular size, first time round your muscles are tighter so can adjust back to regular size easier, but second and further pregnancies it takes a lot more work from your body. Or so google says, I’m no doctor.

6. There is no better feeling in the world

Every worry, ever stress, every pain is worth it when you bring your baby to meet your child. We have been so so so lucky beyond words that Lydia fell head over heals in love with her baby sister from the second she met her. I could never have imagined the bond that they have, even now at only 8 weeks old Charlotte adores her big sister and smiles when she comes to play with her. Lydia is amazing and adjusted to being a sister so well, she is so caring and kind and has never acted jealous in any way. These two little girls and their daddy complete me and I couldn’t imagine any other life. I am literally the luckiest girl in the world and my heart is so full.



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